UP-date

It's that time of the year again, when I get an MRI to see if the cyst is gone. After two years, it has basically not changed size, so it is time for more drastic measures. Next Thursday I'll be going in for an endoscopic ultrasound, during which my doctor will take pictures and drain the fluid and analyze it to make sure it is just a pseudocyst. What else could it be? I asked, since he didn't seem willing to give me that information. A growth, he said. Cancer?, said I. No, but it is considered pre-cancer, so we would have to take it out.
Ok, fine. After two years of having this thing you are telling me it could be something else? He seemed pretty sure it is just a cyst, and I want to believe him. I am actually pretty excited to have this thing drained. Now, that doesn't mean I'd go off the diet, but at least I'd know I don't have something growing inside of me, at least for some time, since it could actually fill up again. The human body is indeed a mysterious thing.

Hello, my name is frustration...

... and I am your worst enemy.
No matter how hard I try to be happy with myself, with where I am in my practice, with who I am in my body, with my body,with my choices, with my life, the toughest judge (me) makes a guest appearance and throws all that hard work down the toilet. What I experienced today was a frustration I hadn't felt in months, and I sobbed inconsolably like a baby for hours. So hard that I couldn't even speak. Maybe I just needed to let it all out. Maybe I had been too happy lately. I hope it will at least give me a good night's sleep.

It's all about the spine, baby

For a couple of months (yeah, I know) I've had this pain in my neck that went down my right shoulder and into my arm. I thought it would go away, that it was just a result of sleeping on my belly with my head twisted to the side. It was becoming a constant pain and getting worse, so I finally sucked it and went to a chiropractor.
He took some X-rays and analyzed my posture... My right leg is shorter and, therefore, my hips are not level and neither is my lower back. My torso is rotated slightly to the right and my head is tilted to the right too... I cannot rotate my neck as much as I should (by 10 degrees!) and my shoulders are not level. The X-rays show that my spine is like a snake, bending first to the right, then to the left, then back to the right. My neck is straight instead of having a curvature, so my head has moved forward and two of my vertebrae are completely rotated. Turns out the nerve that comes out of my neck going to my shoulder is being pinched by that vertebra, causing the pain.
The worst section of my spine is vertebra 8, and (and here comes the shocker) the nerves coming out of that section communicate with the pancreas! So problems in this area (nerve weakness, lack of communication) could cause complications... At this point I said, it's funny that you say that...

So I have 30 sessions ahead of me and, after only the first my neck already feels sooooo much better! My doctor twisted it to both sides and made it crack (realigned it) like in the movies. Scary sound but oh so relieving. Then he said "let me show you something". He pressed on one of my vertebrae on my mid back and asked me to press my leg, as hard as I could, against his hand. He then did the same, but while pressing on vertebra #8. I had NO strength whatsoever. He then realigned it by making it crack and we tried again. My strength was back. AMAZING.

So it's all about the spine, baby. 

A year later....

A year has passed since I got sick and the doctors found my pseudo-cyst... Exactly a year ago I celebrated Thanksgiving at home in Bloomington (instead of Colorado, as originally planned) weighing 125 lbs after being in the hospital for a week. This year I celebrated Thanksgiving at 138 lbs and I've never felt stronger or healthier!

My normal weight was 131 lbs, always careful not to go over and always trying to loose a few pounds... Since I started yoga 10 months ago, and after practicing an average of 5 days a week, I've gained 7 lbs and I'm ok with it. I am finally at peace with my body and this is huge, after torturing myself about it since I can remember. We really are too hard on ourselves being bombarded with ads and images of what we should look like and nobody looks like that (unless you have photoshop or surgery).

I choose to have an actual ass, strong legs, and no boobs. That's how I've always been.  And I choose to practice yoga to look, feel, and be strong and I choose to not compare my body to others'. We are, thank goddess, built differently, and this is who I am, so deal with it. I have.

Candy? No, beets!

I bought beets to make a stew (recipe will be up soon) and was fascinated when I started chopping them. Because I had leftovers, I took my carrot cake recipe (http://lowfatadventures.blogspot.com/2010/02/vegan-no-oil-carrot-cake.html) and put 2 cups of grated beets instead of the carrots. Delicious! Being Spanish, even carrot cake sounded gross when I first went to London, so I had never thought I could eat vegetables for dessert...Now you can have your (low-fat-vegan-no-oil) cake and eat it too.

Progress

A week ago I went back to the doctor's to get the results from my second CT scan. I was hoping the cyst would be gone by now, but it's still there, 1cm smaller, but still "recysting" to go... It is now only 3cm (originally it was 10!) and I'll have to go back in August to get an MRI...
Even if the cyst was gone, this would not imply a change in my diet, so I am taking it as progress...slow, but still progress. It is like when you go on a diet. At first, you lose weight fast, but then you hit a plateau and it becomes harder.
Just keep cooking, just keep cooking, just keep, just keep, just keep cooking....

My body is happy

I always thought I followed a good diet, taking good care of what I ate, but now that I have been on this diet since November, I feel better than ever. And I think my body is happy. So maybe my diet wasn't that great, with the occasional oily French fries or the indulgences after dinner... True, I miss some things, especially cheese, but I think that, even if I was allowed to go back to my old ways I would say thank you, but no thank you.

I feel strong, awake, and healthy. I no longer eat that meat that probably comes from a sad cow who's never seen sunlight, or those eggs laid by a chicken whose peak has been clipped, or pork meat from a pig who couldn't stand up because it didn't have space and was too obese to move. I believe that what we eat has affects our mood, and, if you don't, just watch oversize me...

I'm not a vegetarian; I still eat fish, but I shop more consciously now. And I feel happier than I have in a long time. And just add yoga to the combination. Amazing.

Fat-free and low-fat treasures

I've always been a conscious eater, but I wasn't always able to say no to fatty treats....I miss cheese the most, but I also miss chocolate cake every once in a while, and an all American brunch.... But I have found a few sweet treats that have no or little fat...and I love them...

Honey Graham Sticks (by Back to Nature) (130 cal/25 cal from fat)

Whole Wheat Fig Bars (by Barbara's Bakery, Newman's own) (60 cal/0 cal from fat!)

Moka Fudge Soy Ice cream (by So Delicious) (130 cal/25 cal from fat)

Bunny Graham Friends (by Annie's Homegrown) (130 cal/40 cal from fat). Ok, these are borderline, but they are oh so yummy! Careful. You might go through the whole box quickly...

Crystalized Ginger (bulk section) (0 fat!!!)

Butternut squash baked in the oven with a little water till soft for dessert...

Fat-free Greek Yogurt (by Fage) (120 cal/0 cal from fat!). I still cannot believe this creamy yogurt has no fat. It is like eating cream. Cannot get enough of it in spite of its price...

1% Organic Chocolate Milk (by Horizon) (170 cal/30 cal from fat)

And since it's snowing outside, it's time to make a low-fat carrot cake to accompany that soy ice cream...

My First Apron

I finally got my first apron. I don't know why I've never had one before, probably because of the whole 50's perfect "housewife on high heels at home" idea behind it...But, guess what? Aprons were first worn by men. Blacksmiths, carpenters, fishmongers, sailors...So I now like to think about it as a symbol of hard work, of a task that still needs to get full recognition. Cooking. And I don't mean professional cooks. I mean all those women (and every time more men, thank goddess) who planned and cooked the meals that helped us grow and that never said a thing when we ate them fast and didn't say thank you, it was delicious. I mean, I love to cook, but I also love to hear that what I cooked was good. So, even though my mom has never worn an apron, this apron is for her, a perfect cook who's taught me how to cook the Spanish way, "a ojo", with a little bit of this and some of that, and to always prepare all the ingredients before turning on the stove. I promise I will one day wear rubber gloves when I do the dishes...

...and my apron is special. Made by Dora and Molly of Global Mamas, a nonprofit organization that assists women-owned businesses in Ghana. I got it at Global Gifts, on the square, a nonprofit all fair-trade store, in which I volunteer. That makes me love it even more. Now off to cook.

What is a low-fat diet?

When my doctor said I had to be on a low-fat diet, I asked him, what does that mean? He said the calories from fat had to be 30% or less of the total calories on the label. He then sent the nurse in with some pages she had printed out for me. I'm still not 100% sure what they mean, but this is what I decided I would do, and it has so far worked (cyst was, a month and a half later, half the size!):

- I've given up red meat, which wasn't that hard, since I've never been a big meat eater. And I haven't had chicken(only breast allowed)or turkey in a long time.
- I don't eat a lot of eggs, only occasionally when I bake, but I've been playing with egg replacers lately.
- No cheese, except for fat-free cottage cheese, which is not really cheese if you ask me. This one still hurts.
- Very little oil. If you cover your pan the steam will cook anything on low heat.
- Fat free dairy, fat-free salad dressings, fat-free/low-fat everything :).
- Lots of veggies and fruit. I also take a multi-vitamin and a fiber supplement.
- Lots of whole grains.
- Nothing fried.
- Lots of spices. My spice cabinet is ridiculous.


It takes me a looong time to do my grocery shopping, especially because, on top of looking for organic, natural ingredients, I now also have to calculate the percentage of fat for each product. But this helps: http://www.thecaloriecounter.com/

I admit it...

...I watched Julie and Julia, on the plane, on my way to Spain, where the food I love the most is not exactly low-fat....(Talk about the Mediterranean diet, a concept created, oh surprise!, by Americans).

Back in November I found out, the hard way, that I had pancreatitis because of a pseudo-cyst that was growing outside my pancreas. My doctor broke the news for me: I have to be on a no-alcohol, low-fat diet for the rest of my life. You could think, no biggie, right? Well, truth is I don't mind it that much, except for when I want to go out to dinner and I can only order a salad, no dressing, or when I go out to a bar and my only choice is Coke. Yum.

Lucky for me, I looove cooking, and I am now cooking more than I ever have before. I've gotten creative, I've modified my fatty recipes and I've received recipes from great friends, and I've started taking pictures of what I cook... and I've finally decided to start a blog. Oh, Julie.

I hope that I can maybe help someone who's in my situation get ideas for yummy low-fat food. Or to help someone who wants to lose some weight, or who wants to eat healthier. Or maybe someone who's just looking for new recipes...

I hope you'll enjoy.

Next, a low-fat recipe...